It Starts When You Say We...
Worship Service, September 22, 2013
Foothills Unitarian Church
I have a story, an old story to share. It may be familiar to some of you, but I invite you to hear it this morning with fresh ears. Even if you have heard it a hundred times, I invite you to listen as if this is the very first time. I'll try telling it that way too.
So a long time ago, there were a couple of fisherman who had just decided to call it a day.
They were bummed because they had been out on the sea all day, but hadn't caught anything. Fishing was their livelihood, so actually they weren't just bummed - they were a little scared. Would they be ok? Would they have enough - to feed their families? To pay their bills?
It didn't happen very often - a whole day without anything to show for it. But it did happen. Try again tomorrow, they figured.
So, there they were, packing up their stuff, washing their nets, when this guy headed towards them, and without a word, got into one of their boats.
You can imagine they were more than a little irritated.
"Hey, guy. What are you doing? Those are our boats." The man didn't answer. This was getting weird.
"Push me out a bit, into the water, would you?" He said. As they got closer to him, they realized that actually they knew this guy. He'd been at one of their houses a couple weeks back.
He did this new-agey thing, what was it called- one of the fishermen asked the other? "Reiki," he said. "I think it's called Reiki."
It was pretty cool, they had to admit - people who'd been sick, he just did this thing with his hands, he kind of touched them, and it was like they were totally fine. They both agreed - he was a pretty cool - albeit still weird guy.
But really - getting in their boats - telling them to push him out in the water? Especially after a day like they'd had? Come on.
"Um, are you kidding me? We're done for the day. We didn't catch anything. We're headed home."
But he was insistent. "Get your nets. Come with me. We need to go out there, to the deep water."
"Maybe you didn't hear me. It was a bust. It's time to go home."
The man wasn't giving up. The fishermen looked at each other, and sighed. They did feel like they owed him the benefit of the doubt after all that he'd done to help their family and friends. And they couldn't say for sure if the place he was pointing was a place they'd already tried. Maybe he knew something.
And so they got their nets together, and got back into their boats, and like he said, moved into the deep waters, and dropped their nets down deep.
And lo and behold, they caught so many fish, their nets started to break.
So they called to their buds on the shore, their fishing partners James and John, told them to come out too. Give it another shot.
They were skeptical of course, having had that same bad luck earlier. But they saw all the fish and quickly pushed off, and dropped their nets into the deep.
There were five of them out there, overflowing with more fish than they knew what to do with. They were pretty overwhelmed.
To think that just a couple hours before they had wondered how they'd have enough for dinner.
Now to say these were the kinds of guys that didn't cry much would be quite an understatement. But right there, the one called Peter broke down, tears streaming down his face. "I can't believe this. What just happened? How did this happen?! Who are you?! We're not worthy!"
The other guys laughed a little but they too were moved beyond words.
The strange man looked at each of them, and then with great love in his voice, he said to them, "Don't be afraid. Today your lives changed. Next, we'll get to work on the rest of the world. Sound good?"
And with that simple invitation, and all they had seen and heard, they returned to the shore, and then they left their boats and their nets behind, and began a new life. ***
In the fuller version of the story - the strange man, Jesus was his name - he came to the boats because he's trying to escape the crowd that he had been preaching to earlier in the day.
He realized, he needed a smaller circle to ground his teaching. To help him stay honest, and human.
Besides, in a big crowd, he knew people have a kind of anonymity that allows them to listen without much accountability. Kind of like on Sunday morning - we can all come and go without really knowing each other, you can be present, and yet remain fairly distant... you can let your mind wander, checking in and out of the sermon....I'm not saying this is what you do - but I'm just saying in a big group of a couple hundred - it's possible.
Sociologists have shown that the size of a group determines a lot about that group's capacity and function. For example, if we want to experience a sense of community, our upper limit is 150 people. About the size of this front sanctuary btw - not the back part....
150 isn't the limit of how many people you can know in total of course - just how many you can meaningfully experience as a single community unit, how many interrelated people and the details of their interrelationships you can keep track of in your brain.
But there are other upper limits sociologists have discovered, depending on the desired function of a group. The one relevant to our purposes today is the number 15. 15 is the upper limit to what your brain can experience and navigate if you want a group to function as what we might call "a care and support group" or a "sympathy group."
This is the kind of group that I think Jesus was searching for when he went to the boats that day. He ultimately assembled a group of 12, but on that day, he began with 4.
As church consultant Susan Beaumont says, "This type of group is considered a foundational social grouping for human beings. The relationships found in this type of group provide us intimacy, mutual support, and care."
Now when I hear this as the group's goal, and the number 15 - I think the sociologists have overestimated our capacity. I mean anywhere past like, 10 or 12, things get tricky. Not everyone is bonded to the other, and trust isn't quite as robust as it is in a smaller group. There's just too much to keep track of at that size if you really are aiming for intimacy.
Something more like - 5, 6, 8. In that size group, if people are committed and present for one another - intimacy can happen. Everyone sees everyone else, cares for everyone else, you can keep track of everyone else. And anonymity is no longer possible. In this size group, there's no getting around that everyone has to pitch in to make the group work. Like in the story - those first two boats would've sank if their fishing partners wouldn't have come out to take some of those fish.
Intimacy does happen in small groups, but it doesn't just happen. The small size is a necessity, but it's just the beginning. In order for this group to serve the purpose of care and support - connection to self, others, and to something larger - it has to do what Jesus reminds the fishermen they need to do. The group itself needs to go deep.
Now, don't you wonder - why didn't those fishermen go into those waters before Jesus told them to? I wonder if like many of us, the routine of life had left them a little less than conscious. So much so they could get through their day without ever really venturing into deep waters. I mean, they meant to. They know that often, the real return is there. But there are errands to run and emails to return, traffic to navigate, kids to feed. And so sometimes they - and we - need that explicit invitation to slow down, to go where the real sustaining stuff is, to put our nets down there.
But then again, maybe the fishermen HAD already put their nets into that same place, just as deep as Jesus instructed. Maybe it's like the IT Help line phenomenon. You know that one? Where you have a computer issue you just cannot fix. You have been working for hours. You decide to give up. You call the IT Help Line, and the IT helper basically tells you to do the same thing you've already tried a hundred times, and for some reason this time, it works? Annoying! But your annoyance doesn't stop you from being grateful that your problem is fixed, from feeling like there must have been something you didn't do before. And maybe there was. Maybe there wasn't. I think we can never underestimate the power of a witness with a clear script. The witness is someone who is simply present to say - I see you, I'm listening and paying attention to you, and your struggle and confusion, right here and now. And that script is the thing that person does without fail. It's the proven protocol that they walk you through to help you safely navigate those deep waters. It's the "Have you Tried Re-booting" of life change.
Actually, one of the ways I think about Jesus is as a powerful witness with a clear script.... Have you tried "Love one another"?
In our small groups, the witness is your facilitator to begin, and ultimately, it is all your fellow group members. And the script is the clear curriculum and protocol you follow to help you delve into the deep in safe and clear ways. Together you and your group set aside time to go deep, and by witnessing one another's stories and struggles, you find more sustenance than you ever thought possible.
Which brings us finally to the end of our story. After the fishermen cast their nets into the deep, they get back tons and tons of fish, and they pretty much freak out. Which makes sense right? How do you react when your life is about to change? Or when it just HAS? When you realize your life suddenly matters in new ways, that YOU matter in new ways....I'm not worthy!As Marianne Williamson has said "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually who are you not to be?"
Now if you know the source material at all, you know I changed the ending words. What Jesus actually says is, come with me and from this day forward, you will be fishers of men. Or in today's translation - fishers of people. There are whole sermons written on the meaning of these words, so for today, my rewrite will have to stand in for a fuller exegesis:Your life has been changed, now let's go change the world. You have experienced a blessing -now go and be a blessing.
People who study social change - like sociologist Peter Block - have come to believe that the unit of transformation - the ways that the world can and does change - is through small groups the size of the care and support type group. Groups of 5, 6, 8, 12. But these groups change the world, only in as much as the small group members refuse to isolate their experiences, only as much as they share all those fish with more than just each other.
This is the charge of any small group ministry, the charge of covenant itself, and we might even say as Unitarian Universalists, the call of our lives in total. Having experienced healing, health, transformation, we are invited to pass it on.
In this way, and in all the ways I have described, you may be realizing that Small Group Ministry might best be understood as the best way for us to practice our Unitarian Universalist faith.
We know that each of us has just a small piece of the truth, and so we need each other's insights, encouragement, witness. We know we are made whole through relationships of mutual accountability and trust, and by allowing the blessing we experience with one another to bless the larger world. This is the invitation we set before you this morning in our small group ministry program. We invite you to look over all the materials describing the many options for small groups, and we invite you find yourself there. You can fill out the form and drop it in the office, or to the Board table between the services where our Council members will be there ready to receive your questions...or - get this - you can also go online, to the front of our website, click on the bottom left hand corner where it says Small Group ministry - FIND YOUR PLACE. And you can submit your sign up that way. My friends, no matter how you do it,You are invited to find your place, your beginning place your place where you can can cast your nets deep, Your place where you can be blessed in a way that inspires you - that is to say US all of us to bless the whole world.
My friends, change, healing, hope these things start when you say we, and know who you mean, and each day, you mean one more.
Let's get started.
Worship Service, September 22, 2013
Foothills Unitarian Church
I have a story, an old story to share. It may be familiar to some of you, but I invite you to hear it this morning with fresh ears. Even if you have heard it a hundred times, I invite you to listen as if this is the very first time. I'll try telling it that way too.
So a long time ago, there were a couple of fisherman who had just decided to call it a day.
They were bummed because they had been out on the sea all day, but hadn't caught anything. Fishing was their livelihood, so actually they weren't just bummed - they were a little scared. Would they be ok? Would they have enough - to feed their families? To pay their bills?
It didn't happen very often - a whole day without anything to show for it. But it did happen. Try again tomorrow, they figured.
So, there they were, packing up their stuff, washing their nets, when this guy headed towards them, and without a word, got into one of their boats.
You can imagine they were more than a little irritated.
"Hey, guy. What are you doing? Those are our boats." The man didn't answer. This was getting weird.
"Push me out a bit, into the water, would you?" He said. As they got closer to him, they realized that actually they knew this guy. He'd been at one of their houses a couple weeks back.
He did this new-agey thing, what was it called- one of the fishermen asked the other? "Reiki," he said. "I think it's called Reiki."
It was pretty cool, they had to admit - people who'd been sick, he just did this thing with his hands, he kind of touched them, and it was like they were totally fine. They both agreed - he was a pretty cool - albeit still weird guy.
But really - getting in their boats - telling them to push him out in the water? Especially after a day like they'd had? Come on.
"Um, are you kidding me? We're done for the day. We didn't catch anything. We're headed home."
But he was insistent. "Get your nets. Come with me. We need to go out there, to the deep water."
"Maybe you didn't hear me. It was a bust. It's time to go home."
The man wasn't giving up. The fishermen looked at each other, and sighed. They did feel like they owed him the benefit of the doubt after all that he'd done to help their family and friends. And they couldn't say for sure if the place he was pointing was a place they'd already tried. Maybe he knew something.
And so they got their nets together, and got back into their boats, and like he said, moved into the deep waters, and dropped their nets down deep.
And lo and behold, they caught so many fish, their nets started to break.
So they called to their buds on the shore, their fishing partners James and John, told them to come out too. Give it another shot.
They were skeptical of course, having had that same bad luck earlier. But they saw all the fish and quickly pushed off, and dropped their nets into the deep.
There were five of them out there, overflowing with more fish than they knew what to do with. They were pretty overwhelmed.
To think that just a couple hours before they had wondered how they'd have enough for dinner.
Now to say these were the kinds of guys that didn't cry much would be quite an understatement. But right there, the one called Peter broke down, tears streaming down his face. "I can't believe this. What just happened? How did this happen?! Who are you?! We're not worthy!"
The other guys laughed a little but they too were moved beyond words.
The strange man looked at each of them, and then with great love in his voice, he said to them, "Don't be afraid. Today your lives changed. Next, we'll get to work on the rest of the world. Sound good?"
And with that simple invitation, and all they had seen and heard, they returned to the shore, and then they left their boats and their nets behind, and began a new life. ***
In the fuller version of the story - the strange man, Jesus was his name - he came to the boats because he's trying to escape the crowd that he had been preaching to earlier in the day.
He realized, he needed a smaller circle to ground his teaching. To help him stay honest, and human.
Besides, in a big crowd, he knew people have a kind of anonymity that allows them to listen without much accountability. Kind of like on Sunday morning - we can all come and go without really knowing each other, you can be present, and yet remain fairly distant... you can let your mind wander, checking in and out of the sermon....I'm not saying this is what you do - but I'm just saying in a big group of a couple hundred - it's possible.
Sociologists have shown that the size of a group determines a lot about that group's capacity and function. For example, if we want to experience a sense of community, our upper limit is 150 people. About the size of this front sanctuary btw - not the back part....
150 isn't the limit of how many people you can know in total of course - just how many you can meaningfully experience as a single community unit, how many interrelated people and the details of their interrelationships you can keep track of in your brain.
But there are other upper limits sociologists have discovered, depending on the desired function of a group. The one relevant to our purposes today is the number 15. 15 is the upper limit to what your brain can experience and navigate if you want a group to function as what we might call "a care and support group" or a "sympathy group."
This is the kind of group that I think Jesus was searching for when he went to the boats that day. He ultimately assembled a group of 12, but on that day, he began with 4.
As church consultant Susan Beaumont says, "This type of group is considered a foundational social grouping for human beings. The relationships found in this type of group provide us intimacy, mutual support, and care."
Now when I hear this as the group's goal, and the number 15 - I think the sociologists have overestimated our capacity. I mean anywhere past like, 10 or 12, things get tricky. Not everyone is bonded to the other, and trust isn't quite as robust as it is in a smaller group. There's just too much to keep track of at that size if you really are aiming for intimacy.
Something more like - 5, 6, 8. In that size group, if people are committed and present for one another - intimacy can happen. Everyone sees everyone else, cares for everyone else, you can keep track of everyone else. And anonymity is no longer possible. In this size group, there's no getting around that everyone has to pitch in to make the group work. Like in the story - those first two boats would've sank if their fishing partners wouldn't have come out to take some of those fish.
Intimacy does happen in small groups, but it doesn't just happen. The small size is a necessity, but it's just the beginning. In order for this group to serve the purpose of care and support - connection to self, others, and to something larger - it has to do what Jesus reminds the fishermen they need to do. The group itself needs to go deep.
Now, don't you wonder - why didn't those fishermen go into those waters before Jesus told them to? I wonder if like many of us, the routine of life had left them a little less than conscious. So much so they could get through their day without ever really venturing into deep waters. I mean, they meant to. They know that often, the real return is there. But there are errands to run and emails to return, traffic to navigate, kids to feed. And so sometimes they - and we - need that explicit invitation to slow down, to go where the real sustaining stuff is, to put our nets down there.
But then again, maybe the fishermen HAD already put their nets into that same place, just as deep as Jesus instructed. Maybe it's like the IT Help line phenomenon. You know that one? Where you have a computer issue you just cannot fix. You have been working for hours. You decide to give up. You call the IT Help Line, and the IT helper basically tells you to do the same thing you've already tried a hundred times, and for some reason this time, it works? Annoying! But your annoyance doesn't stop you from being grateful that your problem is fixed, from feeling like there must have been something you didn't do before. And maybe there was. Maybe there wasn't. I think we can never underestimate the power of a witness with a clear script. The witness is someone who is simply present to say - I see you, I'm listening and paying attention to you, and your struggle and confusion, right here and now. And that script is the thing that person does without fail. It's the proven protocol that they walk you through to help you safely navigate those deep waters. It's the "Have you Tried Re-booting" of life change.
Actually, one of the ways I think about Jesus is as a powerful witness with a clear script.... Have you tried "Love one another"?
In our small groups, the witness is your facilitator to begin, and ultimately, it is all your fellow group members. And the script is the clear curriculum and protocol you follow to help you delve into the deep in safe and clear ways. Together you and your group set aside time to go deep, and by witnessing one another's stories and struggles, you find more sustenance than you ever thought possible.
Which brings us finally to the end of our story. After the fishermen cast their nets into the deep, they get back tons and tons of fish, and they pretty much freak out. Which makes sense right? How do you react when your life is about to change? Or when it just HAS? When you realize your life suddenly matters in new ways, that YOU matter in new ways....I'm not worthy!As Marianne Williamson has said "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually who are you not to be?"
Now if you know the source material at all, you know I changed the ending words. What Jesus actually says is, come with me and from this day forward, you will be fishers of men. Or in today's translation - fishers of people. There are whole sermons written on the meaning of these words, so for today, my rewrite will have to stand in for a fuller exegesis:Your life has been changed, now let's go change the world. You have experienced a blessing -now go and be a blessing.
People who study social change - like sociologist Peter Block - have come to believe that the unit of transformation - the ways that the world can and does change - is through small groups the size of the care and support type group. Groups of 5, 6, 8, 12. But these groups change the world, only in as much as the small group members refuse to isolate their experiences, only as much as they share all those fish with more than just each other.
This is the charge of any small group ministry, the charge of covenant itself, and we might even say as Unitarian Universalists, the call of our lives in total. Having experienced healing, health, transformation, we are invited to pass it on.
In this way, and in all the ways I have described, you may be realizing that Small Group Ministry might best be understood as the best way for us to practice our Unitarian Universalist faith.
We know that each of us has just a small piece of the truth, and so we need each other's insights, encouragement, witness. We know we are made whole through relationships of mutual accountability and trust, and by allowing the blessing we experience with one another to bless the larger world. This is the invitation we set before you this morning in our small group ministry program. We invite you to look over all the materials describing the many options for small groups, and we invite you find yourself there. You can fill out the form and drop it in the office, or to the Board table between the services where our Council members will be there ready to receive your questions...or - get this - you can also go online, to the front of our website, click on the bottom left hand corner where it says Small Group ministry - FIND YOUR PLACE. And you can submit your sign up that way. My friends, no matter how you do it,You are invited to find your place, your beginning place your place where you can can cast your nets deep, Your place where you can be blessed in a way that inspires you - that is to say US all of us to bless the whole world.
My friends, change, healing, hope these things start when you say we, and know who you mean, and each day, you mean one more.
Let's get started.